Bad Mommy Awards

There’s been a flurry of blog awards going around lately, and I’ve been on the receiving end of a few of them, which is, of course, totally flattering. But I noticed there’s no mommy blog awards. No awards aimed specifically at mommies. No awards that recognise the heart and soul we pour into parenting, and that we splatter onto the virtual pages of our blogs. So I decided to create one, and award some of the special mommies that I read.

badmommyawardPretty, aint it? Guess how I made it. You’re going to die. I made it in Microsoft Word. Haha, right? I have no design programmes on the laptop, unfortunately, so I improvised. Anyway.

The award goes to:

LauraKim: for her post on raising a spirited child.

Mad Momma: for her post on the differences between mommies and daddies.

One Bad Mom: for her post detailing the dilemma of how her make up sponge got into her 10 year old son’s room.

The Neurotic Mom: for her post on all the things mommies do before they go to bed. SO true!

A Mother’s Angst: for her post on a care package with a side of guilt. She’s such a mom, she even made ME feel guilty. 😉

You blogging mommies rock my world!

RULES FOR THIS AWARD:

1. Pass it on to 5 other bad mommy bloggers. Bad is the new good, didn’t you know?

2. Link back to the award creator.

3. Tell the recipients of your award just why you’re rewarding their badness!

xx

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Happy Birthday

to my son.

Born on the 13th of November 2008 at 10:18AM weighing 3.76kg and 54cm long!

dscn0838Looking forward to the next twenty years…

Bad Mommy Moment

I learnt something the other day.

When they tell you not to leave your kid unattended in the bath, it’s for good reason.

I left The Kid unattended in the bath for about 2 minutes, while I went to prepare his bedtime bottle.

Needless to say, as I picked up the bottle, and walked toward the bathroom, I heard a thump and then some heart-wrenching sobs. My kid had leaned over the edge of the tub, because he’d dropped a toy on the floor, and he spilled out onto the tiles. Head first, of course.

And his nose started bleeding, and he cried. And cried. And cried some more.

I had to get into the bath with him, and lay him on my chest and rub his back until his tears were gone.

Yes, terrible mother. Bad mistake.

Lesson learnt: do not leave Kid unattended in the bath. ever.

Potty Mouth

I had just changed my son’s nappy on Sunday morning, folded it and threw it in the nappy bin. Walked into the kitchen to go get something and suddenly it dawned on me that it was far too quiet.

You know the saying ‘if I’m quiet you better come find me’?

I had one of those moments.

I walked back into my son’s room and discovered him sitting quietly on the floor, with the open nappy on his lap.

He was shovelling handfuls of poop into his mouth, and his face was covered in it as well.

I wanted to die, I was gagging the whole time I was cleaning him. With Dettol. And a scrubbing brush.

this is toast and Bovril, but you get the idea

this is toast and Bovril, but you get the idea

It’s Your Birthday…

..soon…On the 13th of November, and you’ll be a whole ONE YEAR OLD!

…and there’s lots of

things I’d love to buy you, Kid.

1. Such as this ‘iPood’ babygro. It’s far too cute. And it’s available in blue as well. This really made me snort while I laughed. Iwould need to get you18months + because you’re getting so big. Available here. Also the ‘dont bother me, I’m downloading’ babygro is classic.

"i made a boom-boom, ma"

2. A baby activity pool. Because, seriously, how cool is this? And we all know how much of a water baby you are! By the way, the site says: water not included!

3. A Nooboo Pound-A-Sound Activity set – beat the crap out of the toy with a hammer, to hear the music/noises . You’d be in heaven.

4. Easy PC Keyboard. Because I know how much you love bashing away on the laptop I have. And how much you love to stand in front of the PC and switch it on and off repeatedly.
5. Learning Puppy. I bought one of these for your cousin, and you were with me. You absolutely loved this thing, and cried when I took it away from you. Making me feel like such a bad mommy because I didn’t buy you one as well. You loved pressing his hand/foot/tummy and listening to the puppy talk and sing to you.
But….yup, you guessed it. I’m probably going to buy you nappies and formula. Because that’s what broke bad mommies do. Sorry my love. 😉

Realisation

I was sitting outside in my garden yesterday having a smoke and looked up at my neighbour’s windows.

There was a hole in their window. And it was perfectly ball-shaped, with cracks all the way down to the window sill.

I realised something. That’s what I have to look forward to. Ball games and broken windows. Probably a lot of them.

Isn’t it great having a boy?

thankfully this is all I have to contend with right now

thankfully this is all I have to contend with right now

Emergency Sting

Yesterday The Kid was playing happily outside in the garden, and suddenly all hell broke loose. He started screaming his face off. At first, I just ignored him, and carried on with my cigarette, because, well, he performs all the time you know. And then The Boyfriend’s Best Friend (The Kid’s Godfather) suggested that maybe something bit The Kid, and I should check his body for bites or stings.

Yup. I’d ignored my son’s cries while he got stung by a bee. Aren’t I just a fantastic mother? There was this huge yello and black sharp-looking sting stuck in his left foot, and he was screaming and sobbing his little lungs out.

We took him into the kitchen, and had absolutely no clue what to do. After much panicking, I decided to run the foot under the cold tap, which seemed to help. Hurriedly paged through the Baby Manual to see if there was anything about stings. There was. The Boyfriend phoned his mother in a panic. She told us what to do and then rushed over.

Where am I going with this? It’s important to know how to deal with bee/wasp stings. I didn’t think it would be a problem because I dont have flowers in my garden, but my son stepped on a bee that was (I think) resting on the grass. So, here’s a how-to guide on dealing with stings.

BEE STINGS:

Bee stings are a little more troublesome as the bees leaves its stinger in the victim’s skin. If you try to pinch the sting out of the skin, you may actually pump more venom into the body.  Do not use tweezers either. The best thing to do is to scrape horizontally across the skin in order to knock the sting out (try using a credit card). Apply an antihestimine lotion or use baking soda mixed with water (this should reduce irritation).

You could also use tea tree oil on the area – it is an excellent anti-bacterial. My baby book also instructed me to rub the affected area with freshly-cut onion, as this will help to draw the venom out.

WASP STINGS:

Wasp stings should be treated by rubbing vinegar onto the affected area of the skin. Alternatively, there are many lotions available that will treat wasp stings. Wasps dont leave a stinger behind, so the main concern is dealing with the pain shock of a sting.

If your child develops breathing difficulties, any swelling around eyes, lips, tongue or penis, any red blotching, light-headedness or fainting, then they must be seen by a doctor immediately.

At least we learnt one thing out of this minor ordeal. The Kid isn’t allergic to bee-stings.