Quote of The Day

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside”.  ~Rita Rudner

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment”.  ~Dave Barry, “Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn”

“Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child.  She must be found and stopped. ” ~Sam Levenson

“Love and pregnancy and riding on a camel cannot be hid.”  ~Arabic Proverb

“People are giving birth underwater now.  They say it’s less traumatic for the baby because it’s in water. But certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.”  ~Elayne Boosler

Congrats, to MommaNats, who has just found out she’s pregnant with her second. Good luck to you, my friend.

PS: I can’t wait until I can say ‘I told you so. you’re crazy for having a second child voluntarily!’


I Wish….

I’d kept a pregnancy journal. But there was so much going on while I was pregnant – writing thesis, writing exams, buying house and moving and preparing for baby – that I just kinda let it fall by the way side. Plus, I didn’t think my regular readers on my blog at that time would be interested in pregnancy updates all the time.

Now I regret it. I was thinking about it last night. I don’t actually remember much from my pregnancy, but would like to get down what I do recall. So here it is…

  1. The morning sickness was appalling. Morning sickness my ass. Pregnancy-related illness, I think is what it’s called now. From the second I opened my eyes, until I eventually fell asleep in exhaustion from the projectile vomiting. I didn’t eat for months. Really, I didn’t. I lost like 11kg. My morning sickness lasted about 4 and a half months. Smells really made me feel bad, and it was easy to trigger off the vomiting. The smell of garlic, which I normally love, made me feel so disgustingly ill.
  2. I loved having a tummy. I hated the bloating and water-retention. I loved feeling the baby move inside me. It was like hatching an alien, and feeling it try fight its way out.
  3. The first time The Boyfriend and I went to the gynae, and heard the heart beat, was probably such an instant-bonding experience for us. I don’t think it had sunk in for either of us. But hearing the baby’s heart beat was incredible. It was so fast, and so strong. The Boyfriend’s eyes misted up, and he looked completely enchanted. He was completely besotted with the fact that his baby was growing inside me.
  4. I didn’t get any weird cravings. I didn’t eat coal, or pickles and ice cream, like I’d heard some women did. Except for  strawberry milkshake once. And that was it. Other than that, it was all about quantity, when eventually the morning sickness passed. The more the better as far as I was concerned. I got very hungry, and when I was hungry, I needed to be fed immediately. Otherwise I got very cranky.
  5. Maternity clothes were appalling. I hated them with a passion. There was nothing flattering. Fat pants to the max. I was miserable, fashion wise, for months.
  6. I was moody, and very tempermental. I beat The Boyfriend up on a daily basis.
  7. That being said, he looked after me so lovingly. Constantly cooking for me, running me baths, buying me nice things, rubbing my back and telling me I looked lovely. Even though I probably didn’t.
  8. Ante-natal classes were fun. Fun but scary. And it was nothing like you see on tv, with yoga mats, and spread legs and squatting and breathing heavily. It was more like a lecture. But an informative one. One that you actually try to remember, because you know this shit is going to come in handy.
  9. I hated people touching the belly. Unless I knew you and you asked, it annoyed me. People would come up to me in supermarkets, and touch me. Creeped me right out.
  10. I loved it when The Boyfriend used to lie with his head on the belly, talking and singing to The Kid. Those moments were special.

Sigh…I also wish I’d taken more pregnancy photos..

    Just Some Thoughts

    It always seems, like the troubles you’re having right now with your kid(s) are the only ones there have ever been. How quickly you forget the newborn sleepless nights, the waking up three or four times to feed. The nights spent lying on the couch, breastfeeding and clock-watching. The colic that seemed endless.

    When people around you with babies complain about the same thing, you find yourself thinking ‘oh, that wasn’t so bad’. How quick we are to forget. And dismiss other people’s problems as trivial. But when you were going through it yourself, it was the end of the fucking world.

    How quickly you forget the post-natal depression. And the fact that at one point in time, you despised your baby, and didn’t feel like a mother. Rather you felt like a babysitter. A pair of breasts to feed a little demon. How quickly you forget the denial, and the fervent wishes that you could go back and change things. Not be a mother. Not have a  screaming child at 3 in the morning.

    How quickly you forget, once your child is sleeping through the night, what it means to be sleep-deprived. And once you’ve achieved sleeping through the night, how simple it seems. And how you try to explain your method to other mothers. Who just don’t seem to get it.

    Yes, parenting is hard. Parenting is the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do. But I’ve learnt one thing. Whatever drama you’re facing now, that seems like the end of the world. It’s only temporary.

    There’s something far worse waiting around the corner.

    Quotes of The Day


    A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words


    Well, this picture doesn’t have that many words, but here’s some to go with it. I was tagged by Jenty, in the ‘4×4 meme‘. Here are the rules:

    Here are the rules…

    1. Go to your pictures file.
    2. Go to the 4th file.
    3. Go to the 4th picture.
    4. Post it and tell the story.
    5. Tag 4 more people.

    So, up there somewhere is my fourth picture in my pictures folder. The story from that picture?

    I remember that day very clearly. It was probably two or three after The Kid was born. I still had one assignment outstanding for a broadcasting law course I was doing as part of my masters’ degree. A 5000 word assignment. I was breastfeeding, and battling with it. It seemed like my baby always wanted a tit in his mouth. Constantly hungry, constantly crying. It was hot, and we were both miserable.

    I had to do the assignment, nonetheless. Picture trying to research and read up and type out a 5000 word essay on broadcasting law, while you have a kid latched on your sore nipple. It was tough. I typed with one hand while my other hand supported my breast-attachment. In between feeds, I would put The Kid down for short naps on the couch in my office. And every now and again I would take a break from the furious typing, and gaze lovingly at my sleeping newborn. Still to this day, I think I love my kid the most when he’s asleep. When he’s beautiful and quiet.

    One particular time that I gazed over at him, I saw him sleeping like this, and just had to take a picture. Even though he had a sticky-eye, and it wasn’t very pretty, this is still one of my favourite pictures.

    Okay, story time over, I tag:

    1. Jen R – because she’ll have fun with this one, I just know.
    2. Dobeman – I’ve never tagged a daddy before, this should be cool.
    3. Sweet on the Outside – I’m new to her blog, and would like to see more of her mommy stuff.
    4. The Jackson Files – tagged her once, tagged her twice, and now here’s a third one for ya, doll.

    And any one else who loves a meme too, is welcome to meme-ify!

    And….just in the spirit of all things ‘four’ – here’s three more pics from that same day to bring the total up to 4!


    More sleeping on the couch…dscn0100Sleeping on my lap, while I work on my assignment.

    dscn0104sleeping on a pillow next to my desk.

    Potty Mouth

    I had just changed my son’s nappy on Sunday morning, folded it and threw it in the nappy bin. Walked into the kitchen to go get something and suddenly it dawned on me that it was far too quiet.

    You know the saying ‘if I’m quiet you better come find me’?

    I had one of those moments.

    I walked back into my son’s room and discovered him sitting quietly on the floor, with the open nappy on his lap.

    He was shovelling handfuls of poop into his mouth, and his face was covered in it as well.

    I wanted to die, I was gagging the whole time I was cleaning him. With Dettol. And a scrubbing brush.

    this is toast and Bovril, but you get the idea

    this is toast and Bovril, but you get the idea

    My Birth Story

    The day before I was due to pop – weighed about 91kg. Holy crap I know!!! Went to the doctor for a pelvic examination to assess whether my pelvis was big enough to push out this baby – doctor said should be, but he wanted to induce labour that night. Didn’t want to wait any longer for some reason or another. Freaked out a little when I heard that news – I had been hoping to ask for another week – still had one more assignment due, and hadnt completely sorted the new house out yet. But he insisted. It was going to happen and it was going to happen that night. Wandered around the house in a daze, packing my stuff and making dinner.
    The Boyfriend insisted on shaving me before taking me to the hospital. That was rather embarrassing, I wont lie. This whole pregnancy and birth thing completely stripped me of any dignity I had. How on earth can you be dignified bent over the bath so your boyfriend can shave your nether regions and in so doing gets to see parts of you that you yourself have never seen and that NO ONE ELSE EVER SHOULD?
    The Boyfriend had to invite his BFF(the godfather) over for moral support to keep him from freaking out. (This was after the shaving had taken place. Hehe. they are close, but not that close) Think my dazed calmness rattled him a bit. 9pm we hit the hospital and booked in to Arwyp Medical Centre.
    The Pushing Room. Not much pushing happened here. They stuck me in here, hooked me up to the machine (below) that monitors the baby’s heart beat and all sorts of other crap and made me wait. Had to sign all these forms. Got very uptight because I wanted to walk around, hopefully help the labour start that way, kept hauling all the machinery-kak off me and ducking around the corner, bit difficult trailing an IV drip along with me. Plus there wasn’t very far to go or anywhere to hide in the maternity ward, so the nurses kept hauling me back to the Pushing Room.

    Annoying monitoring equipment. Forgot what it’s called. Looking at these pictures now, it’s hard to believe there’s a baby in there somewhere!! At about 1am, the nurse stuck some hormone pills up my va-jay-jay to induce labour. Started to get contractions. They started out at 5mins apart, and then went to 8mins apart and then 12 mins and then stopped. Not very painful – I’d had worse period pains. All this lasted about 3hours – with me still trying to duck off and walk around. I’d been given strict instructions from my mother that I should not lie down once the contractions start, that walking around allows gravity to assist with the birth, making it easier. But the bloody nurses kept hauling my ass back. I must have been a sight, wandering around the maternity ward in the middle of the night, pushing my IV drip and trying to hold my bum inside one of those awful hospital gowns. At that stage I didn’t give a toss, I was hellbent on having a natural birth.

    All the inducing and contractions was taking so long my poor boyfriend got exhausted and had to sleep on the floor next to my bed. Needless to say, he got more sleep than I did that night. Another invasion of my va-jay-jay occured. Pill No 2 was shoved up there in an attempt to induce me again. Was given until 8am, if nothing happened, the doctor said I was going to have a C-section. Just my luck, nothing happened. Labour didn’t progress and at 8am, the doctor came in and instructed the nurse to prepare me for theatre.
    The anaethetist came in – crazy German sounding dude – and discussed my options with me. Was thinking of having a spinal block, but then he said the gaps between my vertebrae are not big enough, there’s a chance the spinal block might work. So opted to be put under general anaesthetic for the procedure. Cried my eyes out. Really didn’t want to have a caesarian. Was too scared to be awake for it, and was highly upset I was going to miss the birth of my boy.

    The Boyfriend all dressed up in his scrubs. Waiting outside the operating theatre. Still crying my eyes out. Very emotional. Every time a nurse would ask me what was wrong, I’d just start to bawl harder. Inside the operating theatre. I assume that’s me under that blue blanket with all the tubes going into me. That’s the paedetrician in the background, getting himself ready for the arrival of my baby boy. E.R style. Freaky to think that they’re cutting me open and poking around inside me. My doctor is on the right. Luckily blue is my colour, because that’s all you see of me in this picture!! Those are some big scissors. Anaethetist on the right. Glad to see he’s taking his job seriously.

    More big scissors. That blonde hair on the left is me. The person getting butchered with them long sharp scissors is me.

    Hauling the baby out. If you look carefully you can see some blood and guts. Look how my skin has collapsed in on itself after the baby was removed. I never expected the umbilical cord to look like that. Totally bizzare.

    Cutting the umbilical cord. Look at his wrinkly little feet!!

    Toes and balls! toes and balls!!Look at my naked little bundle of red-ness getting manhandled by doctors with tubes and needles! Although it might look like they’re trying to get him to smoke a hubbly pipe – they’re not. They’re flushing out his air passages and helping him breathe. Getting pushed through the birth canal stimulates the baby to start breathing, stimulates all his organs and stuff like that. Getting cut out means none of that happens, so the doctors have to do it all manually. Look at me, sounding like I know what I’m talking about!!So much of cuteness! Proud daddy. Very tired though. You’d think he’d just given birth!!

    On the scale. My boy weighed 3.76 kg at birth. Looks like he’s drizzing, shame poor bugger!

    Raising his temperature in an incubator. Look how long his fingernails are. And how wide awake he is!

    The first time I got to hold my baby. Still woozy from the drugs, very sore, very swollen. First workds out of my mouth when I opened my eyes was ‘where’s my baby?!’

    So nothing happened the way I had planned – I didn’t get the natural birth with no painkillers I wanted. Instead I was out cold while they hacked the baby out. Still love him though. Still think he’s gorgeous and wouldn’t change a thing!

    Now say nice things about my baby!